Like many other posts…this is one that I have started to write many times before. I am not a particularly ‘sharing’ kind of person when it comes to my life.
Some people may call my vintage inspired photos vanity, for me it was just to document the results of the ‘biggest’ step taken into becoming healthy. Last year, around this time, my life was equally good as it is today with only one variant. I had a loving husband, a healthy cute little boy, a rewarding career outside home and a thriving business. Heck! What was not to love? ME. I was pretty unhappy (see transformation below)
All my life I have been big, but the last couple of years after quitting smoking and having a child had taken a toll in my body. I had eat myself up to 240 lbs in my 5’2″ frame. I was wearing a size 18 pants and a 2XL shirts. I remember being so mad when my doctor said “I am afraid that you have become morbidly obese and I don’t know where to even classify you. I cant believe you are not diabetic or have any co-morbid diseases” I never went back to see this doctor again. I thought he was rude and unkind. What give him the right to talk to me like that?…but deep inside I knew he was telling me the truth.
It wasn’t until December 2010 that I had my a-ha moment. It was X-mas day and I was sitting down in a director chair with leather back and seat. Suddenly, I heard a ka-boom, like an explosion. There I was with my knees up to my chest and my little Mr. Blue crying. My husband had to come in and help me get up -I could not do it alone- and I felt so humiliated. I thought, “I am 30 years old for Pete’s sake, what I am doing to myself?”
Then a comment from someone else, made me think about Gastric bypass. Every time I started talking about it, it seemed someone had an opinion, everyone know someone that die after the surgery or have gained all their weight back, or look anorexic and or their skin had fallen. For me this was it. I have done Weight Watchers, Atkins, the soup diet, the pork skin diet, the zone, pills, Herbalife, the stand up and raise your leg diet and none seemed to work for long time. I just needed to gain control and this surgery would give me just that. I knew it was not a quick fix -like many seem to think-. I have already tried the diet and exercise regiment, many times. I knew it was a change in lifestyle, I will have to follow a very strict diet, but I was ready.
I went to the very lengthy process of approvals, tests, consults and waiting period, finally everything went thru in my favor and the date of my WLS was set for July. I left a will just in case I died, kiss my son, mom and husband goodbye and carry on. I cried every day for at least one month. A lot of ‘what I have done?’ and buyers remorse, but like everything in life, you get used to it. It becomes easier once you establish a routine.
Here I am, eight months after, at my goal weight. I have lost a total of 91 lbs. I am proud how strong I am and how committed I am to be healthier. Everyone asks what my husband thinks and I just keep reminding them, I do care what he thinks (probably my parents and my brothers too), but I did not did this for him, I did it for me. So what anyone, besides me thinks is irrelevant.
I wanted to take ‘big reveal’ pictures. So when I contacted Cecil and Mario from Mario Gandia photography, and explained what I had in mind they perfectly understood my idea. If you know me as an accessory designer you know I love vintage inspired. So I started collecting photos that reflected my vision, see them here and Mario and his team did an excellent work translating my vision to reality.Then they published this picture on Monday and I could not believe the one looking so full of confidence to the camera is me.
It amazes me that people refer to me as beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, were in the past, people had call me ugly. It is very nerve wracking the way society treats overweight people. It is like the ultimate form of discrimination. I continue to have my feet on the ground. Nothing in the world has changed I am the one who did. I have to admit though, that I am willing to love/give more, because I love myself.
Well here is my big secret, till next time,
Neisha
is feeling much better and recovering pretty good after surgery and last night we re-opened our Etsy shop. Also we are excited about our second anniversary. Thank you to all of you for the awesome support and loyalty! We really appreciate each of you!
